Thursday, February 12, 2009

Day 20: Purification Day






It was another early morning for us, although we didn't attend the morning program. I woke up that morning with a burning stomach, so I decided eat a little and chant until it went away. Unfortunately it started getting a little gurgly instead, and right before Dina came over, asking if we wanted to go see the wonderful Madan Mohan temple, the Radha Damodara temple, Radha Raman, Radha Gokulananda, etc, I had to go to the bathroom right away. That was just a small warning of what was to come but Kar hadn't been to any of those temples yet, and I was so excited to be going there and sharing the experience with him! So we jumped onto the rikshas, with just enough time to grab a few granola bars and we were off! My stomach still felt a little queasy, but I thought the worst was over and so I just quickly ate a granola bar to settle it.
Anyway about half way to Kaliya Ghat, my stomach starting doing all sorts of gymnastics, and I starting realizing that I was going to be sick. But I was determined to make it through the morning and just be sick in the afternoon, after we went to all those places. So once again we were at the foot of the beautiful Kadamba tree that Lord Krsna jumped off of. We spent quite a bit of time there, offering our prayers, going around the tree, and just appreciating the sanctity of such a powerful place. Then we were off to see one of my favorite places ever, the Madan Mohan temple, and Srila Sanatana Goswami's samadhi! Such a beautiful place, so peaceful, and so deeply spiritual. You can feel the love and compassion of Srila Sanatana Goswami just emanating from there. I think this was Kar's favorite place too. It felt like we could just stay there the rest of the day.
Unfortunately my body was telling me that I really needed to get back to our apartment right away! I was trying so hard to hang on, at least until Radha Damodhara, I wanted so much to be there when he say Srila Prabhupada's rooms and Srila Rupa Goswami's samadhi, but I hadn't realized how long Kar likes to spend praying at each place, and by the time we left Madan Mohan temple, I was pretty green and clammy. I wasn't even sure I would make it back to our place, but I think the rikshawala knew I was pretty sick, and didn't want a mess in his riksha, so he took me back super fast although not super smoothly. I told Kar to keep going with Dina and just to tell me all about it when he came back.
Well, I did make it back to our apartment on time, although just barely, and I will leave the rest out. Needless to say, I pretty much emptied my body of everything I had since the past couple days, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it could be. I think Krsna was super kind and gentle with me, just giving me a little purification instead of what I really should have got. Actually I was quite thankful to be sick there, because I felt like I was making so many offenses as I was there, that this felt like a bit of a relief somehow I was getting purified of at least some of the offenses I made. It also allowed me some really nice quiet time to just chant, read, listen to bhajans, to be honest I was in total bliss! Krsna is so so kind and gentle with me, He knows how weak and pathetic I am, if I had gotten sicker I might never have wanted to go back to Vrindavan, but somehow Krsna made even getting sick there a blissful experience!
Kar came back a few hours later, totally effulgent and ecstatic. I had never seen him like that before, just overflowing with excitement and bliss, giving me all these maha garlands he had gotten, telling me about all the wonderful things there. I felt so much better just hearing about it all. The rest of the day was kind of a blur, between sleeping, reading, chanting, etc. Dina came to see me in the evening, and I felt almost cured just by seeing her blissful face. Unfortunately, Kar got sick that evening too, same thing I had, and so we were two sick people, burning up that night. I am still so thankful for every experience we had in Vrindavan, because it is really Krsna who plans each and every experience we are meant to have there. Nothing is by accident, or just because of past karma however insignificant or unrelated it may seem. I could really see that in Vrindavan it is Krsna who takes control and nothing or no one else, and I felt so secure, so happy to be under His control.

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