Day 25th: Ekadasi and Gita Jayanti

Ekadasi and Gita Jayanti! Two very auspicious days to be in Vrindavan! Of course every day in Vrindavan is an auspicious day, but it is even more fun to be there when it's a special day like this. We woke up early, not quite for mangal artik, but early enough that it was still quite dark out when we started. Every Ekadasi Dina Prabhu wanted to to parikrama around Vrindavan. Last Ekadasi it was just me and Dina, this time we had all of us going, KC, Lila, Yammy, Neem, Kar, Dina, and me! I was totally excited to go, and share the experience with everyone. This time I made sure I didn't drink too much water and went to the bathroom before I left.

We started out around 6:30 in the morning, with thick fog making everything feel unreal and mysterious. I was glad to be going early again, because there was hardly anyone on the path but us and a few fast walking sadhus. It was cold again, but not too cold. Everything was so quiet and hidden, it felt like we were walking in between the spiritual Vrindavan and the Vrindavan everyone else sees, because the mist would hide all the garbage leaving just the beautiful trees peeking out. We walked quite quickly only stopping a few places to take pictures, we took some water from the Yamuna river and Kesi Ghat, and offered obesciances to the deity of Yamuna Devi, and to the spot where Lord Chaitanya sat once. But it was extremely pleasant, peaceful and relaxed as we chanted and walked together. The sun came up, gradually burning away all the mist and leaving a beautiful cloudless day. By the time we got back to the temple, we felt lighter, purified, blissful, and tired. I wish I could start every day with a Vrindavan parikrama, it was definitely one of my favorite experience there.

We decided to all go home and eat some prasadam, then take rest, and meet again at 3:00 to read all of the Bhagavat Gita translations together. It was such a nice relaxed day, compared to the day before, exactly what we needed. We ate breakfast, and then took a nice nap, afterwards we finished whatever rounds, read a little, did laundry, until lunch time, then went to the restaurant to eat.

At 3:00 we went over to Yamuna and Dina's for the Bhagavat Gita reading. I was surprised at how many people showed up, we had at least 15-20 people coming for the reading. It was pretty exciting because I had never read the Gita straight through like that, and I was all ready for a big marathon. We thought it would take maybe 5 or 6 hours, so we were prepared to be there for awhile. We started with a little kirtan, and then just took turns reading one translation. It was a wonderful experience! I never could get into the Bhagavat Gita that much because I would always get lost in the philosophy, but when we read it all the way through like that I enjoyed every second of it! Everyone felt sad to come to the end. We actually ended much earlier then we thought, I think it was only 6 when we ended, or maybe even earlier. But then we had kirtan again for another 1/2 hour. It was so nice to chant the Holy Names after reading the Bhagavat Gita like that! Around 6:30 everyone left, and so we went and got some prasadam from the restaurant again, and brought it to Yamuna and Dina's and ate Ekadasi prasadam all together. A perfect end to a perfect day! I would love to do that whole day over and over again, maybe at least 4 times a year.

Day 24th: Whirlwind of pilgrimages

Once again we woke up super early, and super eager to start our day. To be honest I was a little nervous about this day, because GauraHari said we could accompany Sacinandan Swami for most of the day! I was already pretty nervous about making unknowing offenses to the holy dhama out of my complete ignorance, but now I could be making offenses to the holy dhama and to an exalted Vaishnava, and chances are I would. But still, what an extraordinary, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, to visit the holy temples and places of Vrindavan with Sacinandan Swami! We went to mangal artik and right after mangal artik we met with Maharaja, GauraHari, and 3 more of Sacinandan Swami's disciples (including a couple who were going to get married later on that day), and we all got into one tiny riksha. Of course we didn't really fit, yet we somehow got in anyway, my very first experience of having only one foot on. Kar had to hold me by the waist the whole time otherwise I would definitely have fallen out.

It was still dark when we started, and we did a very quick whirlwind tour of Shyamasundara temple, Braja Mohan temple, then to the Gopisvara Mahadeva temple. That temple was a pretty amazing but intense place. When we got there both me and Kar didn't even know where we were. The devotees starting buying these little artik tray things and a pot of yogurt, so we went along with them, although still completely bewildered. Then we went inside and in the middle of this lovely temple, was an lowered platform with the beautiful Siva linga in the middle. All around the linga where devotees offering abhiseka and artik to Lord Siva. Sacinandan Swami offered his abhiseka first, and then the rest of the devotees followed. It was quite intense though, because we had no idea of what to do first, and the pujaris would be coming up to you telling you what to do in Hindi, and other people would be squeezing in, offering their things, and the rest of the devotees where waiting for us to finish up too. But it was an amazing experience! To be bathing Lord Shiva and smearing the yogurt onto the linga with your own hand, then offering flowers and incense! We sang a little bit while we offered artik, and as we circumabulated the temple area. We also got to bath Parvati and Ganesh! After we got out of the temple Sacinandan Swami told us that because it was Monday everyone comes to worship Lord Siva, and whatever you pray to Lord Siva for would be granted. I wish I could remember what I prayed for. To be honest I think I was in such blur of intensity and confusion, I am not sure if I asked or prayed for anything at all! I hope that I prayed for pure devotional service, or something like that, and not something mundane, but I don't know. I just hope that Lord Siva will kindly forgive one spaced-out and bewildered girl, and not take my offenses too seriously.

We separated with GauraHari and the other disciple couple then, and continued on with just Sacinandan Swami and the other female disciple. I was pretty terrified, especially when GauraHari told Kar to take of Sacinandan Swami when he left! But we continued on to Vrinda Kunda and then to Vamsi Vhat, where we sat in the temple room and chanted our japa. It was so quiet and so peaceful there, in that small temple room. It was open to a little courtyard where the beautiful tree, that Lord Krsna played his flute under, stood in the morning sunlight. What a wonderful feeling it was to be sitting there in front of Krsna and chanting with Sacinandan Swami! Unfortunately it was also pretty cold, and the cold stone was quite freezing to sit on! Me and the other disciple, Bhagavati, shared our chadars to get warmer and it helped. Still it was definitely a bit of a test to stay focused on chanting and not think about how cold we were.

About 2 hours later Sacinandan Swami decided to head back to the temple to get ready for the wedding that was coming up, so we all got up and went to get some rikshas. Bhagavati decided to go to Loi Bazaar and get some things before the wedding, so Sacinandan Swami, Kar, and I all got onto one small riksha to head back for the temple! It was quiet the ride back. This time I was sitting at their feet on the little plank, and holding on for dear life, without hanging on to their legs or feet ( although I would have loved too!) Sacinandan Swami read us some wonderful passages about Vrindavan and Krsna, but my mind was too overwhelmed to remember what they were. He told us about different places and temples to visit in Vrindavan, and then Kar asked about how to keep the remembrances and feelings of Vrndavan with you when you return. Sacinandan Swami replied very nicely, saying how you never really forget your experiences because they are samskaras, or impressions that are planted deep within your heart even if you are unaware of it. Then he said it is also nice to do or make something different in your life that will remind you of your experience, like chanting extra rounds, or offering extra special prayers, or keeping a prayer journal with pictures, etc. I felt very glad and grateful to hear that these impressions will never leave my heart, yet I still do want to do something special or different so that I will not forget my experiences. I felt so honored and so extremely grateful to Sacinandan Swami for letting us spend that one-on-one intimate time with him in Vrindavan even though he was incredibly busy there. I am well aware that I don't deserve any of it, and I feel all the more grateful for it, yet I feel sadly completely unable to express my gratitude or even to take full advantage of those opportunities.

We arrived back at the temple, blown away and reeling from our experiences, feeling completely done for the day, yet when we checked the clock it was only11:00 in the morning! That whole morning felt like it was 3 days long! We quickly ate some breakfast, and then zoomed over to a devotee's house, where we were invited by Sacinandan Swami to see the wedding ceremony of his disciples. When we got there, they were almost ready to start and so we sat down with everyone else and Sacinandan Swami sang a beautiful kirtan and gave a really nice lecture. Then the wedding started and it was very sweet, with Sacinandan Swami acting as the bride's father, and Gaura Hari acting as the bride's brother! I felt so happy and honored to be there, amongst all of Sacinandan Swami's disciples, it was a very small but cozy wedding. Then the priest needed a married woman to tie the couples' knot, and amazingly enough I was the only married woman there! So I got to be a part of that cozy and loving family, and tied the knot (twice because the first one I pulled too hard and it burst apart, much to my embarrassment). After the wedding there were more bhajans and kirtans and then prasadam. We stayed at the wedding till 5 in the evening, and then walked with Sacinandan Swami back to his apartment. He wanted us to go with him to another place later in the evening, but when we got back to his apartment he took a nap and realize how exhausted he was and decided not to go anywhere that night. So we left after saying our good-byes to that wonderful couple , Madhava and Kishori( who is like my sister now), and payed our most grateful obesciances to Sacinandan Swami, and then went to Yamuna and Dina's sweet evening kirtans. Once again it was exactly what we needed, to bring us back to reality again yet take us to the spiritual world at the same time! Every moment in Vrindavan was so intense because you could feel that every moment there was personally planned by Krsna for you to experience, I treasure every second of my time there. How can I express my thankfulness, my gratitude? I can't even properly express what that day was like, what to speak of its impact on me. All I can do is humbly pray that the devotees and Krsna kindly excuse my dullness and ignorance, my foolish offenses, and continue to give me the chances and opportunities to be with them and serve them somehow.

Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures of our morning pilgrimages, didn't even bring the camera. Even if I did I don't think I would have taken any pictures, some experiences are meant to be kept only in the heart. But I did take some pictures of the wedding.

Day 23: Sunday

We woke up early for mangal aritk, although not as early as before. After mangal artik Kar and I stayed in the temple area and chanted our rounds. We weren't sure what our plans were going to be for that day, so we thought it would be best to get our rounds done as soon as possible. Of course that meant no nap after mangal artik. Then it was Deity greeting, and then Sacinandan Swami led an incredible guru puja kirtan! I wanted so much to just get absorb in the kirtan but no matter where I was standing I was in the way of something. When I tried to stand by the pillars, I was in the way of people coming to see the deities, when I stood in the corner by the deities I was in the way of the procession with the Srila Prabhupada murti! It was a little choatic for me, but the kirtan was really good, totally wild! We went around the temple three times, then into Srila Prabhupada's samadhi, and finally back into the temple room. After the kirtan Sacinanadan Swami gave a great Bhagavatam class. It was the perfect class for that place and time, I wish I could remember it now. I wish I took notes again. At the time you are always so sure you would be able to remember it later.
After the class, Kar and I talked to Gaura Hari for a little bit, trying to find out what Sacinandan Swami's schedule was going to be and if there was any possibilities of spending more time with him, and if there was any service we could do. Of course, being the incredible and compassionate person that he is, Gaura Hari said he would try and see if we could spend some time with Sacinandan Swami the next day, and then he gave us some of Maharaja's kurtas to wash! I don't know how he does it, we must be like the 100th person who asks him for service to do for Maharaja, yet he always tries to give us something, or arrange something for us. He is truly our kind well-wisher and best friend and we are so indebted to him!
By then it was getting late, so we rushed over to Yamuna's and Dina's to see what their plans were. When we got there guests were coming already, and Yamuna had to leave right away with Bala to do the deity shopping. We told her we would meet her later in Loi Bazaar, but when we got back to our place to eat, we decided not to try to do so much. We were both really tired and still feeling a little sick, and Sunday was always such a crazy day everywhere. So I just did Maharaja's laundry, took a nap, then we ate lunch and walked around the temple shops, and finished chanting our rounds. It was a good thing we took that break too, because we found out later that day that there was going to be a special candlelit darshan at RadhaRaman temple that evening! We had thought we were going to do kirtan with Yamuna and Dina again, but then we decided to all go over there instead. It was around 6:30-7:00 in the evening when we left. The streets where packed but when we got there it was surprisingly not as crowded as we thought.
What an incredible darshan that was!!! I will never forget it, it was the most mystical and magical thing I have ever experienced! They had this huge cloth canopy on the ceiling and tea light candles everywhere, with this huge candle chandilier in the middle. And Radha Raman was so amazingly beautiful!! We could not take our eyes off of him, it was just so indescribable. Then at that magical place we saw Sacinandan Swami there all alone. He was going to do kirtan there for that darshan, but GauraHari wasn't with him, so he asked Kar to be his harmonium player during the kirtan. What an experience!! It was beyond anything we could have ever hoped for, beyond anything we had could have ever deserved. To be sitting there doing kirtan for Radha Ramanji at that super special evening darshan, with Yamuna and Dina there too!!!! It was completely unreal. I so badly wanted it to go on forever, but it somehow went by way to quickly, and it was over, time to go home. It was so hard to drag ourselves away from RadhaRaman's beautiful face! By the time we left it was quite late and we were planning on going to Mangal artik with Sacinandan Swami, and then go with him to other places the next day. But we were buzzing so much from that experience, we did not feel tired at all! It's a strange sort of feeling, to be wanting to say so much yet still be in so much awe and bliss that you can't really say anything at all! We finally went to be much later then we had hoped, but with huge blissful smiles on our faces. I fervently pray and hope that I will never forget that beautiful image of RadhaRaman smiling and shining in the candlelight.

Day 22: Neem arrived

We woke up a little later, catching up on much needed rest. We both felt much better, although still had weak digestion. Neem was supposed to arrive from Delhi with Haribhakti at 8:30 or 9:00 in the morning, so we got his room ready and waited for him to get there. Of course we should have known that meant Indian time, so around 11:00 we went over to Yamuna's and Dina's to give them a call and find out what was going on. They were on their way, everything went smoothly, just delayed. Me and Kar then decided to check emails and then headed back. By then they had arrived, and so we helped bring stuff inside, and shared some of our stories. Then went over to see Yamuna and Dina again. It felt good to have our whole Saranagati bhajan group together again. Now we could finally get started on singing our songs!! We were super excited and couldn't wait to get started, but it still was awhile before we could get a regular routine going.

We ate lunch together, and then decided to head down to Loi Bazaar and do some shopping. I had done a little before and thought I knew what to expect. Anyway, it was just the beginning of many more frustrating shopping expeditions. They are all just a blur in my head, so I can't even remember what we shopped for. I think I went to pick out some saris for my sisters and I, and some fabric for gopi skirts. I think that was all I did, because it took forever!!!! Of course I was a big mental case about it the rest of the day, but I think Kar had a good time in the book store. It was like a the biggest and best toy store for an avid spiritual reader like Kar! He didn't complain once about how long I took in the sari shop. But it was long enough, because by the time we were done, we were both completely exhausted and finished. Thankfully we had the super sweet kirtans at Yamuna's and Dina's to feel wonderful and blissful again. We went to bed early again, totally exhausted but super excited, because the next day Sacinandan Swami was going to give class at the temple, and we were thinking about going out diety shopping with Yamuna and other devotees!

No pictures for this day either.

Day 21: Feeling Better

I woke up feeling much better, very light-headed and a bit dizzy, but still ready to start the day. I was tired of lying in bed and wasting my precious time in India. Unfortunately Kar still had a fever, so I let him sleep and just chanted for a little bit, then went to see Yamuna and Dina. It was wonderful to see them again, and they both were super happy to see me better but upset that I was out of bed. I started feeling a bit woozy by then so I just quickly went and checked my email, got some water and fruit and went back to lie down. I managed to eat a little during the day, but of course my digestion was still recovering. Kar was also recovering and by the evening he was feeling much better too.

Sacinandan Swami had also come to Vrindavan from Govardhan and was giving a lecture in Prabhupada's rooms that evening. Thankfully we were well enough to attend it because it was wonderful! We had a really nice intense talk with him after as well, and that speeded our recovery even faster! Afterwards we went over to Yamuna's and Dina's for our wonderful evening kirtan, and by the end we were a hundred percent recovered!! hehehe.. well almost, super tired but once again in complete bliss. I wish I was more able to take advantage of those kirtans and the association of Yamuna and Dina Prabhus , to somehow absorb their company more, because now that I am away I miss them so so much!!!

This day was a rather short and quiet day, and so we didn't take any pictures this day.

Day 20: Purification Day

It was another early morning for us, although we didn't attend the morning program. I woke up that morning with a burning stomach, so I decided eat a little and chant until it went away. Unfortunately it started getting a little gurgly instead, and right before Dina came over, asking if we wanted to go see the wonderful Madan Mohan temple, the Radha Damodara temple, Radha Raman, Radha Gokulananda, etc, I had to go to the bathroom right away. That was just a small warning of what was to come but Kar hadn't been to any of those temples yet, and I was so excited to be going there and sharing the experience with him! So we jumped onto the rikshas, with just enough time to grab a few granola bars and we were off! My stomach still felt a little queasy, but I thought the worst was over and so I just quickly ate a granola bar to settle it.
Anyway about half way to Kaliya Ghat, my stomach starting doing all sorts of gymnastics, and I starting realizing that I was going to be sick. But I was determined to make it through the morning and just be sick in the afternoon, after we went to all those places. So once again we were at the foot of the beautiful Kadamba tree that Lord Krsna jumped off of. We spent quite a bit of time there, offering our prayers, going around the tree, and just appreciating the sanctity of such a powerful place. Then we were off to see one of my favorite places ever, the Madan Mohan temple, and Srila Sanatana Goswami's samadhi! Such a beautiful place, so peaceful, and so deeply spiritual. You can feel the love and compassion of Srila Sanatana Goswami just emanating from there. I think this was Kar's favorite place too. It felt like we could just stay there the rest of the day.
Unfortunately my body was telling me that I really needed to get back to our apartment right away! I was trying so hard to hang on, at least until Radha Damodhara, I wanted so much to be there when he say Srila Prabhupada's rooms and Srila Rupa Goswami's samadhi, but I hadn't realized how long Kar likes to spend praying at each place, and by the time we left Madan Mohan temple, I was pretty green and clammy. I wasn't even sure I would make it back to our place, but I think the rikshawala knew I was pretty sick, and didn't want a mess in his riksha, so he took me back super fast although not super smoothly. I told Kar to keep going with Dina and just to tell me all about it when he came back.
Well, I did make it back to our apartment on time, although just barely, and I will leave the rest out. Needless to say, I pretty much emptied my body of everything I had since the past couple days, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it could be. I think Krsna was super kind and gentle with me, just giving me a little purification instead of what I really should have got. Actually I was quite thankful to be sick there, because I felt like I was making so many offenses as I was there, that this felt like a bit of a relief somehow I was getting purified of at least some of the offenses I made. It also allowed me some really nice quiet time to just chant, read, listen to bhajans, to be honest I was in total bliss! Krsna is so so kind and gentle with me, He knows how weak and pathetic I am, if I had gotten sicker I might never have wanted to go back to Vrindavan, but somehow Krsna made even getting sick there a blissful experience!
Kar came back a few hours later, totally effulgent and ecstatic. I had never seen him like that before, just overflowing with excitement and bliss, giving me all these maha garlands he had gotten, telling me about all the wonderful things there. I felt so much better just hearing about it all. The rest of the day was kind of a blur, between sleeping, reading, chanting, etc. Dina came to see me in the evening, and I felt almost cured just by seeing her blissful face. Unfortunately, Kar got sick that evening too, same thing I had, and so we were two sick people, burning up that night. I am still so thankful for every experience we had in Vrindavan, because it is really Krsna who plans each and every experience we are meant to have there. Nothing is by accident, or just because of past karma however insignificant or unrelated it may seem. I could really see that in Vrindavan it is Krsna who takes control and nothing or no one else, and I felt so secure, so happy to be under His control.

Day 18: Last Day of the Retreat

The morning was a little colder then usual, and very misty. This morning instead of Madhavananda's seminar, Jagattarini Mataji finished reading the Vidhagadha Madhava. It went longer then usual, and by the time it was over the sun was just breaking through the mist, and I was frozen solid, even in the temple room! Then it was time for breakfast, Kar was still not there so I saved him a plate, sat beside KC and started eating the prasadam which I am still not sure what it was. I think it was supposed to be some sort of kitchiri dish, but I think they put in sugar instead of salt, and something tasted a little sour too. To be honest I had a really hard time eating it, and felt a little sick afterwards. I felt a little sorry for Kar when he came and got his plate, it was a little bit bigger then I had intended, and I was worried he was going to get sick because his stomach is more sensitive then mine. But somehow we were both ok, and went to the last closing ceremony of the retreat.
It was an incredible privilege to be able to be there, to hear the words of advanced devotees, to be in their association, and to be right there in Govardhan! Although I am so thick-headed and dull, I could and still can feel the powerful effect of those words moving my heart, piercing through the thick fog of my consciousness. One thing that struck me and moved me so deeply was something that Sacinandan Swami said in his seminar. After sharing the story of the Bramhin whose sons where stolen by Maha Vishnu, he said that "Only someone who has been personally invited by Lord Krsna can come to the holy Dhama." I felt so deeply grateful then and now, to hear that, and to realize that for some reason or other (the mercy of Yamuna and Dina) Krsna wanted me to and allowed me to experience such wonderful times. At the end of the closing ceremony they gave everyone a beautiful picture of Govardhan Hill to take home, and then there was a few hours break until lunch.
Me and Kar decided to see the little bathing/washing area beside our ashram, so we went for a japa walk to the kunja, and spent some time just watching the village ladies wash their clothes. Such a simple life, all they had was a bucket, some soap and a scrubber. Of course it took them about an hour to do a load of laundry, but they were all socializing and spending time together. It was very peaceful and satisfying to just relax there and watch the villagers doing their regular duties. It really is such a beautiful place. After a bit, we went back and then it was time for lunch. The prasadam was amazing this time, with the best rasmalai I have ever eaten in my life. I think I ate way too much that meal, unfortunately Kar told me the raita was a little off, after I ate all of mine.
Finally it was time to go back, and everyone started bringing their things to the bus and getting ready to leave. It was actually really sad for me to leave Govardhan, even when I knew I was going back to Vrindavan. I can't believe I left. I was at the beautiful side of Govardhana, where there is no anxiety, just the sweetness of Govardhan, and I left, I can't believe it. To make matters worse an old Indian man yelled at me for about half an hour, in front of everyone, and I had no idea about what he was saying. I don't think he was saying anything very nice though. Then we had to wait another hour on the bus before we started off. It was a long ride home, and I started feeling a little sick on the bus. Finally we reached Vrindavan, and the MVT. I was totally exhausted and feeling pretty bad, but we really wanted to see Yamuna and Dina before we went to bed. So we went over to their apartment, and they were just about to start the evening kirtan! I was happy to be able to have an evening kirtan again, somehow the day feels incomplete with out it, yet I was so tired I could hardly stay in my chair. Even though I was missing Govardhan hill, being back with Yamuna and Dina prabhus made me feel like I was really home again!

Day 18: Back to Govardhana!

Finally it was Tuesday, the day we had planned to go back to the Govardhan Retreat! We got up all early, packed our few things for the short stay, and went to meet Yamuna and Dina at the gate to go. They were there right on time too, and so we waited for our taxi, and waited and waited. About an hour later, we decided something was wrong, so we tried to get in touch with the devotee who told us he would arrange our taxi. Of course that was pretty impossible, so we ended up just having to get another taxi and leaving a couple hours later then planned. This only increased my eagerness and desire(impatience) to get there!! Then we were on our way! Over the incredibly, indescribable bumpy roads, and through the serene country side. This time I saw Govardhan way sooner, and even saw Kusum Sarovara and other wonderful places. But being beside Yamuna and Dina, sharing my intense excitement and anticipation with Kar, and singing all the most wonderful prayers all the way there, was an other-worldly experience in itself. Still I was so impatient to get there, it felt like the longest drive ever, with the most traffic I have ever seen, the longest waits at the railroads, and with a nagging doubt that our taxi driver didn't have the foggiest idea of where he was going. But soon enough we were finally there! Just writing about going back to Sri Govardhana is making me feel super excited inside! I just love that place!
We went straight to the small garden where they were holding the second seminar by Bhurijana Prabhu, after that seminar was over, me and Kar went to use the bathroom and put our stuff in KC's room until we could figure out where we were staying. On the way back we ran into Sacinandan Swami, and he was super happy that we were there! We walked with him back to the garden and he met Dina Prabhu, (Yamuna Prabhu was over by the hill at that time), and then started his seminar. He gave a nice introduction on how happy, thankful, yet nervous he was to have Yamuna Prabhu present for his seminar. The rest of the seminar was really good too. After the seminar, Yamuna Prabhu went up to meet him, and they talked briefly. I was so happy to be there! Then it was time for prasadam, so me and Kar went to get Yamuna and Dina some plates, and then ate prasadam too.
After prasadam we went with Dina, Lila, KC, and Nanda, to the dusty parikrama path at the foot of Govardhan, that place that I never want to leave. We offered our obesiances there, and made little homes out of the stones, so that we will always have a home by the side of Govardhana. I loved making the homes and taking pictures of the hill, although that almost got crushed by a monkey who figured there must be something to eat in my camera bag and so started taking my camera ( in the bag) towards the hill were I couldn't go after him! Thankful he realized there was nothing there quickly enough, and dropped it were I could still get it. Then we once again paid our prostrated obesciances and rolled in the wonderful soft dust of Govardhan!! What a wonderful feeling! You never want to get up ever again. heehee.
We started heading back to the ashram for the next part of the program, and got attacked by the village kids on the way. They were pretty fascinated with Kar and me, and somehow thought that we would give them our rings, earings, watches, bracelets. I was laughing at Kar because the little boys were trying to take his ring and watch off, and so I decided to take a picture, but as soon as they saw the camera they wanted that too! It was an interesting situation, trying to keep your hands above your head so that the kids couldn't reach them! Still they were very sweet kids, even though they definately would have stolen whatever we had if they could.
When we reached the ashram it was time for the play and then it would be the last evening kirtan. Yamuna and Dina had to leave right after the play, but me and Kar stayed for the night and were going to leave with the bus the next day. After the play, we all went to the temple for the evening kirtan. It was another wonderful end to the already extraodinary day! There is nothing more fufilling and satisfying then singing the holy names at the end of such incredible days. You want to and probably could sing forever! We stayed there late, because we had some presents to give to Sacinandan Swami, and it took awhile for him to be able to leave, so by the time we headed to our ashram building it was quite dark. Luckily for us some other devotees were heading there too, otherwise I think me and Kar would have done an unexpected parikrama around Govardhan hill. When we got to our building, we were so tired and cold that we really just wanted to go to bed, so we were so happy to get the key to our room.

Unfortunately when we got to our room, we found out that we had no power whatsoever. No lights, no heat, no nothing. I am not even sure the toilet worked. I mean water (at least I hope thats what it was) gushed out from everywhere when you flushed, but I am not sure anything actually went down the toilet. Anyway, we didn't care so much because we really did just want to go to bed. But even sleep wasn't really going to work out, because around 1;00 in the morning, some loud-speaker across the street started blaring who knows what. After lying in bed listening to it for about 3 hours, I still can't figure out what it was. It sounded vaguely like an old woman chanting some verses, but in a very jumbled up and down, high- low pitch way. Its the kind of thing that your ears and brain are never able to shut-off. Anyway, it was right beside our window, playing really really loudly all the way till about 4:30 in the morning, and then it finally shut off. Of course by then I was already awake, and decided I would just chant till it was light enough to try and take a shower. At about 6:00 in the morning it was still too dark, and so I went to get some water, and as soon as I stepped out of my room, some Indian man handed me a bucket with hot water. So I ended up taking a bucket bath in the dark, in a room where the toilet gushed water (?) all over everything, and without a towel, and I had to go to the bathroom, crossing my fingers it would all go down and not out all over everything in the room. Finally I finished, somehow feeling dirtier then when I started (drying with my dusty shawl from the day before might have helped), and decided just to go straight back to the main ashram. Kar had finally fallen asleep at around 5 in the morning, so I let him sleep. But I was definately ready to begin a new day!! A little more tired then expected but still blissful!

Day 17: Kar's First Vrindavan Day

We woke up super early and super excited to go to mangal artik with Dina Prabhu. A little too early because the gates where still locked as we got there. Apparently they don't open them till 3:30 in the morning, so yeah we were awake pretty early, we got there around 3:00. But it was alright, we chanted outside the walls for little bit, then Dina came and they finally let us in. We went straight to Srila Prabhupada's samadhi and chanted on the top floor again. It was so nice to be back there in the early morning, chanting with Srila Prabhupada and sharing it with Kar. Its like you don't want time to move, yet you are really excited about the next thing coming up. Soon enough it was time for mangal artik, and so we went down to see Srila Prabhupada, then into the temple to see Sri Sri Krsna Balaram, Radha Syamasundar, and Gaura Nitai. As usual it was a little chaotic in the temple room during the mangal artik, but still the deities are so beautiful, you soon become unaware of anything else.

After mangal artik we went back to our rooms to take a nap. Poor Kar still had a hard time sleeping because of his asthma. As he explained, it was hard for him to get rid of because of the bedding but also because he was too excited to calm down enough to let it get better. We finally got him a good foam mattress, and the sheets were clean and he had a clean pillow so he was finally able to sleep well, after the mangal artik.

When we woke from our nap and had breakfast, we went over to see Dina, and she took us to one of our favorite places in the world, the "Care for Cows" goshala. It was the perfect introduction to Vrindavan for Kar, so peaceful and beautiful, and full of Krsna's cows. We loved it there! When we got there the devotees told us that a new baby calf had just been born, so we inside to see it and pet it. I was a little worried when Kar was petting the calf because the mama cow came right over to him, I thought she was annoyed and was going to butt Kar away, but she started licking his head instead! I have never met such loving and affectionate cows in my life. Then we looked at two little rascally calves who were running around all over the place. They were so cute too! I managed to get some of their tail hairs to make a small brush for Krsna and Balaram. I got some white tail hairs from the white calf, and some black tail hairs from the little blackish calf. I think that is the best thing I got for Krsna and Balaram from Vrindavan. Then we got to see all the cows come home for lunch. It is such an amazing sight to see, hundreds of cows all coming down the road, with the dust billowing around in the air, picking up speed as they get nearer to the goshala, and finally all breaking off into their own groups to go and eat in their own spots! They all knew exactly where to go, what group they were in, and what time to come home! It was like right out of the Krsna book! Such a beautiful sight, you could almost see Krsna and Balaram playing Their flutes and coming home with the cows.

We spent most of the morning there, and then went back for a late lunch, and just relaxed and walked around the temple area for the rest of the day. We had to prepare to go to Govardhan the next morning, so we arranged a taxi, and went to bed early to get an early start. I can't remember if we had evening kirtans at Yamuna and Dina Prabhus' place. All in all, it was one of the nicest, most relaxed times of my life. I would be totally happy and satisfied if my whole experience of Vrindavan was just that little goshala.

Day 16: Sleeping day

So I woke up around 8 in the morning, to find Kar still wide awake and super excited about all the monkeys running around outside. He was watching them all morning, and couldn't wait to go out there. I couldn't believe he was still awake. We decided to go over and see Yamuna and Dina prabhus, then figure out our bedding situation so that Kar could get some sleep without dying of asthma. Kar got attacked by his first monkey going over there, he was carrying a plastic bag, and the little monkey missed the bag and got Kar's leg instead. It was pretty funny, especially because the monkey was so small and freaked out of Kar.
Yamuna and Dina were super happy to see Kar, and we talked with them for a little bit, finally deciding that we would all go to the 2nd last day of the Govardhana retreat, and rest in Vrndavan for a couple of days. Kar was starting to get really tired by then, so we went back to our rooms, and Kar tried to sleep for a little bit. I just went out and did some clothes shopping, because I was totally out of clean clothes, and really didn't feel like washing any. When I got back Kar was still sleeping, so I just wandered around the temple, chanting for a few hours. Kar woke up a bit later, although he really didn't sleep that well. I think we went to eat lunch at the restaurant, then I washed all our bedsheets. I can't remember much of this day, it was a bit muddled up, we might of had bhajans with Yamuna and Dina in their apartments that evening, and then went to bed pretty early. We were getting all ready to go to Mangal artik at Srila Prabhupada's samadhi the next morning, and Kar was totally excited, so was I...